Just Call Me Pheidippides

I have a tendency to not believe things I hear. A typical response when someone tells me some random fact is “Nu-uh”. Perhaps it’s a hangover from teaching teenagers for so many years or perhaps it’s my egomaniacal illusion that I know everything already. So when The Husband told me the history of the marathon, before I could even get the “N...” sound out of my mouth he blurts out “Look it up!” So I did. (I love Google.)

“The marathon race commemorates the run of the soldier Pheidippides from a battlefield near Marathon, Greece, to Athens in 490 B.C., bringing news of a Greek victory over the Persians. Pheidippides collapsed and died at the end of his historic run, thereby setting a precedent for dramatic conclusions to the marathon.”

I went on to learn that the original trek was only 25 miles (not the current 26.2) and some other boring stuff, while trying to ignore the background cacophony of “I told you so!” (Damn Google.)

Why, oh why, do I care, you ask? Because I’m going to China in May to run on the Great Wall of China!!! One of my BFFs, who is an uber-athlete and breezes through triathlons and marathons as easily as crossing the street, is running the marathon and has coerced me into doing the 10K. Good news/bad news: I’ll probably drop dead during it.....but what a fabulous story it’ll make for my funeral!

Check out this death march:

Disclaimer

Let me start off this blog by saying, I’ve never had an original thought. Ever. I’m a perpetual “me too” –er. Seriously, D starts her own business, I start my own business; Jilly G moves to California, I move to California; The King goes back to school, I go back to school; Carrie writes a Christmas letter, I write a Christmas letter…..peer-pressure much? And, yes Mom, if my friends decided to jump off a bridge, I’d be right there with them. So, since Jilly G has started a blog about her latest travel adventures, I must respond with a resounding “me too!!!”

Secondly, I never follow through. With anything. My life is a compilation of unfinished projects. Scrapbooks, journals, cross-stitching, crafts, relationships, marriages, school – all fall into the “it was fun for a while, but I got bored” category. I’d like to think it’s because I’m so above it all (riiiiiight) that I get bored easily, but in reality it’s just because I’m lazy and have the attention span of a gnat. (Although if you think about it, gnats have a pretty long attention span because they keep hovering around forever until you kill them, but I digress.) So I’m predicting this blog won’t last an entire year. You should get in on the pool now to predict when it ends.

Next, let me assure you that I will most likely offend some of you. You know my philosophy on that...if you don’t like it, change the channel. Not to worry, I won’t be waxing poetic on politics. Just. Don’t. Care. I will probably also plagiarize, exaggerate, and break all kinds of copyright laws. However, suing me for all I’m worth might get you a few crates of scrapbooking supplies. (Secret’s out – I ain’t rich.) However, to enable us all to maintain some sense of dignity, I’ll be using stage names for my fellow cast members.

Bored yet? Why yes, yes I am.

Best Celebrity Day Ever!!!!! Nautica Malibu Triathlon 2007

While Jilly G was busting her butt participating in the Nautica Triathlon, The Husband and I were volunteering. And.....get this.....our "duty" as a volunteer was to body-mark the participating celebrities!!!! We wrote their race numbers on their biceps and calves. First of all, let me start off by saying that I have never in my life caressed so many beautiful biceps and calves. And yes, I did have to steady them by holding on firmly as I ever-so-gently inscribed the race number with my permanent marker. Sometimes I even continued to hold on while I supposedly double-checked to make sure I wrote the number correctly. And sometimes I just continued to hold on for no reason whatsoever. The Husband and I were the only two "celebrity body markers", so between the two of us, we touched all of them. Of course we don't remember everyone, but here are the highlights that we do remember:

• David Duchovny (Hank Moody on "Californication", Fox Mulder on "The X-Files") was by far the highlight of the day. I told him I was loving his new show and he seemed really happy and thanked me. After I wrote on him, he asked me to help him put on his bracelet and said he hoped it wasn't an omen because he couldn't get it on. Of course I got all nervous and had to ask the girl next to me to help me help him get it fastened. I offered to help him carry his stuff to the transition area, but he didn't need me to, which is probably a good thing because that would've been a whole ten minutes of walking in the sand with him with the paparazzi trailing us and I'm sure I would've lost my cool composure and blurted out something silly (like "omg - I watch X-file reruns all the time and I just love you and you're so cute and I love you".....you see how ugly that could've been). Speaking of the paps, Access Hollywood was filming while I was writing on him, so I might have been on TV but I haven't watched this week so I don't know.
• Felicity Huffman (Lynette on "Desperate Housewives") was with her husband William H. Macy (or Bill, as we call him now). He's definitely not a morning person, btw. As The Husband was getting ready to write on Felicity, I asked her if it was okay since I didn't know if she planned to wear something strapless that night and she said it was okay, she wasn't worried about it. After the race we asked her how she did and she said she ran slow. Yeah, whatever. As they were leaving, Bill thanked us for taking such good care of them.
• Mark Paul Gosselaar (Zach on "Saved by the Bell", John on "NYPD Blue") was my first encounter of the day and he is soooo nice. I wrote on his bicep and he said I should write it lower b/c his shirt sleeve would cover it, so I instinctively licked my finger like I was going to rub it off and thankfully caught myself (how ghetto would that have been?). After the race when I gave him his medal, he was telling me how that's all his kid cares about - "Daddy, did you win a medal?" and then I told him about King-Spawn and how he loves medals too and I was giving him mine from the Nike 5mi the day before. Of course since MP and I are bff's now, we sit around and share stories about the kids. King-Spawn's first vicarious celebrity moment!
• Jon Cryer (Alan on "Two and a Half Men") was my favorite of the day - he is so funny!!! I asked if I could write on him and he asked what I was going to write. I told him it had nothing at all to do with the race, I just wanted to write my phone number. He said, "Sure, but my wife is right here". I said she wouldn't mind and they both laughed - whew! I was pressing my luck! He was also talking smack about David Duchovny and I told him I'd be sure to pass along the message when he checked in.
• Andy Baldwin (the Navy doctor "Bachelor") definitely wins the "best body parts" award. He actually won the triathlon and had just recently placed 10th in an Ironman. Obviously there's a connection between beautiful body parts and being an uber-athlete. Who knew?
• Rocco Dispirito (a celebrity chef) is really nice and promised he would make us omelets next year.
• Neil Giraldo (rock star, Pat Benetar's husband) has tatoos all over, so when The Husband asked if he could write on him, he said, "Yeah, good luck with that".
• Carl Lewis (Olympic gold medalist)
• Alec Musser (Del on "All My Children")
• David Denman (Roy on "The Office")
• Ed Helms (Andy on "The Office")
• Esai Morales (Lt. Rodriguez on "NYPD Blue")
• Missi Pyle (Mrs. Beauregarde in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory")
• Paul Walker (Brian in "Fast and the Furious")

After the race was over, while they were all eating lunch, we had to go around and give them their medals ahead of time since some had to leave early to get ready for the Emmys (since it starts in the middle of the afternoon for us). So we just kinda wandered from table to table chit-chatting like we were all bff's. It was funny because I'd be saying things like "Sebastian, are you sitting with Felicity? Can you give her her medal?" and "Oh yes, Rick, I just gave your medal to Mark-Paul" and "Jon, do you know where Alec is sitting?" Ya know, kinda like this is what I normally do - no big thang. Also, Taylor Hitsch (Tim on "Friday Night Lights") was there just hanging out eating lunch.

Below are samples of our famous handwriting.

I have to admit, all those years of writing on chalkboards has finally paid off because my handwriting is fabulous. In fact, it's so fabulous that Microsoft is thinking about making it a new font: "Cindy's Celebrity Stalking". All in all, it was the best celebrity day ever, even though Jake Gyllenhaal never showed up.

Columbus Day Parade in NYC

We went into the City this morning for Columbus Day Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral (Carrie-In-The-City sings at SP and Columbus Day is a big Italian holiday in NY and I have a vowel at the end of my name which qualifies me to celebrate). After Mass we watched the parade for a few minutes and then stopped in some pub for a drink.....um, I mean lunch. While we were in there, there were all these guys in red shirts drinking and partying and getting ready to walk in the parade.

So of course we start talking and drinking with them and we had on red shirts too and all of a sudden we're all best friends and they want us to walk with them in the parade. They're from some Italian club from Carbondale and Scranton, PA, and they came over on a bus to be in the parade. Sooooo we end up not just walking, but carrying the banner up 5th Ave doing the whole parade thing. We're waving to the crowd, hanging out, getting our pics taken, etc. It was FANTASTIC!!! We are totally famous in Carbondale and Scranton now!

Daytime Emmy Awards 2006

First of all, we discovered that Soap Opera fans are very similar to the women of the Scrapbooking cult - most are fat, middle-aged housewives (I know, I know - pot/kettle/black - I get it). Then, we discovered that many of the stars apparently take the worst dressed nominations from the other awards shows and try to worsen it. And then there was Kelly Monaco wishing she was Jessica Alba. But I digress.....meow.

We sat in our actual seats for an hour or so and then the true stalking began. We went out to the lobby and lurked near the bar, restrooms, elevators where we had some excellent star sightings. Although we "saw" tons of people in the audience, I'm not counting them as actual sightings unless they were within a 6 foot radius. I didn't get pictures of everyone I saw because I spent the majority of the evening saying "OMG, OMG, OMG". Also, the minute someone walked up, I got all flustered and couldn't even remember their names and I didn't want to be a true geek and call them by their character's name. And sometimes, my sorority manners actually kicked in and if they were on the way to the bathroom or were in the middle of a conversation, I didn't butt in. Shocking, I know. Although I have to admit we followed Peter Bergman to the restroom and waited for him to come out. *(See below for a listing of up-close sightings.)

We made friends with the security people at the doors, even to the point where once we went out and while I was getting out my ticket to show on the way back in, the lady said "that's okay, I remember you". So needless to say we spent more time running around all evening than actually watching the awards. Finally, toward the end, an important security guard kicked us out of the lobby and told us to go back to our high-altitude seats. Rude, huh? So instead we walked outside to get a prime location for the red carpet exit.

And then the crowning moment of the evening.....the crew from the Ellen show walked out holding all their Emmys and as I was furiously snapping pictures, a producer walked over to me, handed me his Emmy, took my camera, and took a picture of us holding it - just out of the blue!

Check out the death grip I have on that thing. You can believe the picture is getting blown up and hung over the mantel. I might have it redone as an oil painting. Someone naively asked me "How can someone look so proud holding another person's award?" Puh-lease! I've been rehearsing this moment with the voices in my head for years! This was my 15 seconds of fame where my fantasy life became reality.....sorta. Okay, so I still have trouble with that distinction.

After everyone was safely out of the Kodak and neither Jilly G nor I were in handcuffs, we went upstairs to Wolfgang Pucks for dinner with the stars. We sat next to Crystal Chappell (nominee for best supporting actress) and her husband, Michael Sabatino, who used to be on Knots Landing. At the table behind us was Bobbie Eakes (nominee for best actress) and all the hot guys from One Life to Live were two tables over. I seriously thought I was going to have whiplash from all the extreme gawking.

I'm sure I've forgotten a few details, but all in all, it was quite possibly THE MOST FUN EVER!!!!! And it definitely does not suck to live in Hollywood! (Click here to see ALL pictures.)

*Star sightings up close and personal (I don't remember exact locations for some)
Bobbie Eakes (AMC) at the table behind us at Wolfgangs
Jacob Young (AMC) in my arms (picture above)!
Maura West (ATWT)
Jason Cook (DOOL) on the stairway in the lobby
Tek Kramer (DOOL)
Tony Geary (GH) on the way to the elevators with an entourage of security (oh brother - he's not all that)
Crystal Chappell (GL) and husband from Knots Landing sat next to us at Wolfgangs
Kim Zimmer (GL) on the way to the ladies room
Bree Williamson (OLTL)
Dan Gauthier (OLTL) at a table in Wolfgangs
David Fumero (OLTL) at the bar in Wolfgangs
John-Paul Lavosier (OLTL) on the escalator outside the Kodak (I almost fell off)
Josh Casaubon (OLTL) at a table in Wolfgangs
Kamar De Los Reyes (OLTL) in the lobby
Melissa Gallo (OLTL) at the bar in Wolfgangs
Nathaniel Marston (OLTL) in my arms (picture above) and Jilly G's
Trevor St John (OLTL) at a table in Wolfgangs
Tuc Watkins (OLTL) on the escalator outside the Kodak (I almost fell off)
Christel Khalil (YR)
Davetta Sherwood (YR)
Don Diamont (YR)
John Enos (YR)
Kristoff St. John (YR)
Peter Bergmen (YR) on his way back from the restroom and then in Jilly G's arms (picture above)
Thad Luckinville (YR) in Jilly G's arms (picture above)
Ellen's producers on the red carpet - my new best friends!
Joy and Star from The View in the lobby
Martha Stewart on the red carpet
Chandra Wilson from Greys Anatomy on the red carpet
McKenzie Westmore
Ben Graciano