Everybody Loves a Parade

...Even our four-legged friends. The Santa Barbara Dog Parade is a big deal each summer - I'm talking people come from miles around, spend a year getting their dog floats ready, 1200 dogs participate, and the Big Dog Foundation donates millions of dollars for charities helping dogs, children, and dogs that help people. They even made a film (a "dogumentary") that premiered at the Santa Barbara film festival in January. This year The Dog Whisperer, Cesar Millan, was the grand marshall. Here he is waving to me.....well, in my general direction.

You know those pictures of dogs dressed up that are entitled "This is why I hate my owner"? I wish I could've read the thought bubbles of all the dogs in the parade, because I'm sure that's exactly what they were thinking. However, always one to exploit cute-ness, I have tons of pictures. I couldn't even decide which ones were more "awwww" than the next, so I just posted them all. If your dog happens to chew through the power cord while you're viewing this page, he may be sending you a message that he won't be receptive to these potential Halloween costumes. (Click images to enlarge.)

2007 champion and co-star of Unleashed: A Dogumentary

The China Monologues

How to sum up the most amazing trip of my life...? First, we must all thank my BFF Jilly G for making the trip and my oh-so-informative recaps possible. As I alluded to before, I am the ultimate SWF-esque imitator of all my friends, so there's no way I would've ever thought, "Hey, I think I'll go to China to run in the Great Wall Marathon and then go hang out in Hong Kong for a while" on my own. I'm just not that brave. She is, though, and I owe so much of my currently-fabulous life to her. Next, I must thank The Wonderful Husband for putting up with my stress-mood-swings before leaving, lack of communication during, jet-lag whining upon returning, and of course the financial backing for this little jaunt to boost the Chinese economy.

Significant discoveries:

• Toilets: 'Nuff said. I hear they're like that some places in Europe also, but fortunately I did not experience it while I was there making this my first exposure to such hideous-ness.
• LIT (Lost in Translation): "What?! You mean not everyone in the whole wide world speaks English?!" Oh, how arrogant we are! The funniest part is that in the US if we don't understand someone, we just say "I don't know", whereas in China everyone is so polite that they just nod. So you think they understand you, but alas, it's usually an LIT moment. I vow to be more patient with non-English speakers at home in California (of which there are millions).
• Money math: Having to divide everything by 7 to figure out the money conversion was really a stretch to my 10th-grade-level math skills. I ended up writing out a little cheat sheet of 10HKD=1.28USD, 20HKD=2.56USD, etc. I highly recommend this to other math illiterates while traveling.
• Time math: Most of the clocks are in military time, which I can do, fortunately. The time-zone - not so much. "What time is it there?" has always been one of my most frequently used phrases.
• Metric system math: Seriously, everyone uses it - why don't we? The marathon organizers said "We have distance markers throughout the course and for our American friends we even put it in miles". How embarrassing!
• Geography: Two months ago I couldn't even pick out China on a map. I'm happy to say I am no longer the stereotypical American Geogr-illiterate.
• Pollution: Beijing makes LA smog look pristine.
• Humidity: (You know I don't go a day without commenting on or complaining about the weather.) Hong Kong makes Florida look like a dry desert.

So ends my adventure. I learned a lot, saw a lot, and spent a lot, which makes it the perfect vacation! (Click here to see ALL pictures.)

Gotta Go, Gotta Go, Gotta Go Right Now...

As promised, the long awaited China Toilet Chronicles. And to quote my friend, Beth: Everyone loves a good potty story; they're not just for 10-yr-old boys, ya know. Ahh, where to begin.....? First of all, if you are easily offended, change the channel now. Not because of language/sex/violence, but just the sheer GA-ROSSSSSS-ness of it all will make you run right in and hug your toilet. Mainly out of gratitude because you will never take that seat for granted ever again, and then there is that gag-reflex factor.

China isn't big on modern plumbing. I had heard this from a friend who'd witnessed it first-hand a few years ago and I'd read it in all the tourist books, but I still didn't quite believe it until I saw for myself. So here’s a typical public restroom. Fortunately hotels and airports have normal toilets, but anywhere else, like malls, restaurants, markets, tourist attractions, etc, have these.

Some are rated, like “3 star”, “4 star”, etc, which means they may have 10 holes and one normal toilet. Once in a while you'll get a directional sign like this in case there's any doubt as to what type you're about to experience.

When you walk in, one way is for women and the other way is for men, usually separated by a cloth. Privacy is not high on the priority list, as you can see.

Each stall looks like this. You have to bring your own toilet paper and after wiping you have to put it in the basket instead of down the hole because they don’t flush. And yes, people poo in them too!!! Also, the floor is usually so disgusting (covered with pee from bad aimers) that you can’t set down your purse or backpack or packages or anything you might be carrying, so you have to juggle it while squatting and aiming.

Besides the visuals here, I want you to TRY to imagine the STINK on a hot, humid, polluted summer day! Obviously I've been traumatized for life, but I did learn a few things about myself. 1) I have decent balancing skills, 2) I will never leave the house without some sort of tissue product, 3) I really have no need for 8 glasses of water each day.

I Like Big Buddhas and I Cannot Lie

On my quest to see Big Buddha at Lantau Island, I decided to live dangerously and take the cable car 3ish miles up the mountain (2,330 feet above sea level - I have no idea what that means except that it was very high). Yes, I'd heard about some of the incidents (2 years ago when 500 visitors were left hanging mid-air for a few hours, last year when an empty cable car fell to the ground) and despite the fact that it was a rainy, foggy, cloudy, windy day I figured it would be an adventure. I was right – it was tons of fun.....even though I could hear the wind whipping through the windows, and at some points I was enveloped in fog, and at other points I looked waaaay down and gulped.....it really was fun. The pictures are kinda blurry since they were through the window and it was raining, but you can still see the amazing view. (Click images to enlarge.)

Tian Tan Buddha, or Big Buddha, is the world's tallest seated bronze Buddha. He's 112 feet high, weighs 250 tons, and sits on a lotus throne on Ngong Ping plateau surrounded by eight smaller worshipping statues. The base is a model of the Altar of Heaven from the Temple of Heaven in Beijing. And guess what the best part is? To get to the top, you have to climb STAIRS!!! 268 steps, to be exact. Are you kidding me?! Enough with the stairs already!

Po Lin Monastery, originally known as the Big Hut, is right next door, so I went over there to see some monks since it's an international Buddhist retreat. I entered through the Memorial Gate and the first thing I noticed were these big pots where people put gigantic sticks of incense before praying. While I was inside one of the temples, I did get a picture of a monk, but since I was trying to be sneaky and not interrupt his prayers, it's not a great picture.

At the end of the day, I decided to take the bus down the mountain instead of the cable car. And no, not because I'm chicken! Actually, the bus ride was like a roller coaster, so it was equally fun. All in all, another fabulous day! (Click here to see ALL pictures.)

Macau

Macau is an island 35 miles across the Pearl River from Hong Kong. To get there, you have to take a speedboat ferry, which is huge and has seating like the airlines. (Click images to enlarge.)

Way back when, China gave Macau to Portugal if they promised to get rid of the pirates. I guess they succeeded since I didn't see any pirates. About 10 years ago, Portugal gave it back to China, so now it's one of those special territories like Hong Kong - kinda like a knock-off-China. Most importantly, it's like a mini-Vegas with all its casinos, hotels, shopping, and restaurants.

Discovered this delectable little tidbit in one of the markets: Filet of Piglet. Did not try it.

We worked up quite an appetite after wandering through the marketplace, so we went far far away to Hac Sa beach to Fernando's for a non-piglet, Sangria-soaked lunch. Yes, the tour book really said "Sangria-soaked". And yes, it was. The food was great also.

After lunch, we went on a wild gambling spree. I think I lost a total of $50 HKD, which is really only about $6 USD. The best part of the casino adventure was getting stopped by the bouncer on our way in because....."only 18-yr-olds can go in".....seriously, that's what he said to us. After we picked our mouths up off the floor, explained to him that we were practically...um...30...ish, and assured him we had passports that would prove we were...um...over 18, he let us go in. I love this place! (Click here to see ALL pictures.)

Whatcha Gonna Do With All That Junk?

Boats=Junks in Hong Kong. Something to do with the type of boat, I think. Not sure. Anyway, we took out the Disney Corporate Junk for a day of sun and fun. Here are pictures of the boat/junk and the view along the way. (Click images to enlarge.)

We went to Po Toi island for lunch. Po Toi is the southern-most island of Hong Kong, famous for its rock formations and supposedly they used to produce dried seaweeds used by the monks for sitting. I did not sample any seaweed. I also did not sample any of the food pictured below.

After lunch we anchored out in the South China Sea and, believe it or not, I actually went swimming. This may not sound like that big of a deal except that I have never even set foot in the Pacific Ocean in my backyard.

Cheers to another fabulous day! (Click here to see ALL pictures.)