Sunday, September 16, 2007

Best Celebrity Day Ever!!!!! Nautica Malibu Triathlon 2007

While Jilly G was busting her butt participating in the Nautica Triathlon, The Husband and I were volunteering. And.....get this.....our "duty" as a volunteer was to body-mark the participating celebrities!!!! We wrote their race numbers on their biceps and calves. First of all, let me start off by saying that I have never in my life caressed so many beautiful biceps and calves. And yes, I did have to steady them by holding on firmly as I ever-so-gently inscribed the race number with my permanent marker. Sometimes I even continued to hold on while I supposedly double-checked to make sure I wrote the number correctly. And sometimes I just continued to hold on for no reason whatsoever. The Husband and I were the only two "celebrity body markers", so between the two of us, we touched all of them. Of course we don't remember everyone, but here are the highlights that we do remember:
  • David Duchovny (Hank Moody on "Californication", Fox Mulder on "The X-Files") was by far the highlight of the day. I told him I was loving his new show and he seemed really happy and thanked me. After I wrote on him, he asked me to help him put on his bracelet and said he hoped it wasn't an omen because he couldn't get it on. Of course I got all nervous and had to ask the girl next to me to help me help him get it fastened. I offered to help him carry his stuff to the transition area, but he didn't need me to, which is probably a good thing because that would've been a whole ten minutes of walking in the sand with him with the paparazzi trailing us and I'm sure I would've lost my cool composure and blurted out something silly (like "omg - I watch X-file reruns all the time and I just love you and you're so cute and I love you" see how ugly that could've been). Speaking of the paps, Access Hollywood was filming while I was writing on him, so I might have been on TV but I haven't watched this week so I don't know.
  • Felicity Huffman (Lynette on "Desperate Housewives") was with her husband William H. Macy (or Bill, as we call him now). He's definitely not a morning person, btw. As The Husband was getting ready to write on Felicity, I asked her if it was okay since I didn't know if she planned to wear something strapless that night and she said it was okay, she wasn't worried about it. After the race we asked her how she did and she said she ran slow. Yeah, whatever. As they were leaving, Bill thanked us for taking such good care of them.
  • Mark Paul Gosselaar (Zach on "Saved by the Bell", John on "NYPD Blue") was my first encounter of the day and he is soooo nice. I wrote on his bicep and he said I should write it lower b/c his shirt sleeve would cover it, so I instinctively licked my finger like I was going to rub it off and thankfully caught myself (how ghetto would that have been?). After the race when I gave him his medal, he was telling me how that's all his kid cares about - "Daddy, did you win a medal?" and then I told him about King-Spawn and how he loves medals too and I was giving him mine from the Nike 5mi the day before. Of course since MP and I are bff's now, we sit around and share stories about the kids. King-Spawn's first vicarious celebrity moment!
  • Jon Cryer (Alan on "Two and a Half Men") was my favorite of the day - he is so funny!!! I asked if I could write on him and he asked what I was going to write. I told him it had nothing at all to do with the race, I just wanted to write my phone number. He said, "Sure, but my wife is right here". I said she wouldn't mind and they both laughed - whew! I was pressing my luck! He was also talking smack about David Duchovny and I told him I'd be sure to pass along the message when he checked in.
  • Andy Baldwin (the Navy doctor "Bachelor") definitely wins the "best body parts" award. He actually won the triathlon and had just recently placed 10th in an Ironman. Obviously there's a connection between beautiful body parts and being an uber-athlete. Who knew?
  • Rocco Dispirito (a celebrity chef) is really nice and promised he would make us omelets next year.
  • Neil Giraldo (rock star, Pat Benetar's husband) has tatoos all over, so when The Husband asked if he could write on him, he said, "Yeah, good luck with that".
  • Carl Lewis (Olympic gold medalist)
  • Alec Musser (Del on "All My Children")
  • David Denman (Roy on "The Office")
  • Ed Helms (Andy on "The Office")
  • Esai Morales (Lt. Rodriguez on "NYPD Blue")
  • Missi Pyle (Mrs. Beauregarde in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory")
  • Paul Walker (Brian in "Fast and the Furious")

After the race was over, while they were all eating lunch, we had to go around and give them their medals ahead of time since some had to leave early to get ready for the Emmys (since it starts in the middle of the afternoon for us). So we just kinda wandered from table to table chit-chatting like we were all bff's. It was funny because I'd be saying things like "Sebastian, are you sitting with Felicity? Can you give her her medal?" and "Oh yes, Rick, I just gave your medal to Mark-Paul" and "Jon, do you know where Alec is sitting?" Ya know, kinda like this is what I normally do - no big thang. Also, Taylor Hitsch (Tim on "Friday Night Lights") was there just hanging out eating lunch.

Below are samples of our famous handwriting.

I have to admit, all those years of writing on chalkboards has finally paid off because my handwriting is fabulous. In fact, it's so fabulous that Microsoft is thinking about making it a new font: "Cindy's Celebrity Stalking". All in all, it was the best celebrity day ever, even though Jake Gyllenhaal never showed up.

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