Is That a Baby Bump I See?

It's true. My bump is growing. And before you start calling Guinness, there's no baby. Just fat. So as part of my revamped decade-old failed resolution to lose weight, I've decided to take pictures of it this year in order to meet my monthly benchmarks. See, I've noticed this growing (pardon the pun) trend of pregnant women taking pictures of their baby bump as it progresses and publishing the pictures for all to see. (I blame Demi Moore for starting the insanity.) Maybe it's because I've never been pregnant and always been fat that I just have an ewwww-reflex whenever I see a naked pregnant stomach, no matter if it's 9 weeks or 9 months. Seriously, what's up with the "here I am at 1 month, here I am at 2 months, here I am at 3 months, etc" thing or I've even seen pictures of someone on the way to the hospital captioned "this is as pregnant as I'll ever be".....um, gee, thanks for sharing, ga-ross. But I digress...

I figure if I take pictures of my own ewwww-reflex bump each month, I'll be able to (a) shock myself with a "look away, I'm hideous" reality check, and (b) see if I'm making progress with the whole lose weight/exercise/eat healthy combo-goal. Hopefully it'll be like a reverse pregnancy and at 9 months the bump will be gone instead of on the verge of exploding. Oh, and don't worry - they'll be posted on my refrigerator, not here. Although, you never know. If I end up with a 6-pack, I may just publish the pictures after all. Okay, so there's really no threat of that happening, but I'm reserving the right to change my mind.

By the way, has anyone discovered the proverbial "magic diet pill" yet? And if so, clue me in, because the idea of eating vegetables for an entire year is only making Jilly G and her merry band of vegetarians happy. Me - not so much.