Pro-cras-tin-aaayyy-ay-tion.....Is Makin' Me Late

Since it's my first week back at work, I don't want to break away from my finely-honed habits right away. Today I will be playing the role of The Panicker, The Sidetracker, and obviously The Social Sharer. I'm pretty sure I'll be The Perpetuator in another couple of hours. That is all.

Foodie Friday: The Best Broccoli of Your Life

I haven't always been a fan of green. As in vegetables. However, as I get older and fatter, I've been strongly encouraged mandated to check my 'tude about a healthy lifestyle. You know those doctors - they go to school for a million years, learn all about health stuff, and think they can tell you what to do. Now I eat veggies for dinner several times a week, which gets a little humdrum. After all, I'm new at this and there's only so much I know how to do. So of course a recipe named "The Best Broccoli of Your Life" excited me.....as much as I can get excited about broccoli, that is. Thank you, Amateur Gourmet and Barefoot Contessa.

4-5 lbs of broccoli, cut into large florets (Note: Dry them thoroughly!)
6 1/2 T Olive oil
1 1/2 t Kosher salt
1/2 t Fresh ground pepper
4 Garlic cloves (peeled and sliced)
1 Lemon
3 T Toasted pine nuts (optional)
1/3 c Freshly grated Parmesan cheese
2 T Julienned fresh basil (optional)

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Place the broccoli on a cookie sheet. Toss with 5 T olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic cloves. Roast in the oven 20 to 25 minutes, until “crisp-tender and the tips of some of the florets are browned.” When it’s done, take it out of the oven and zest a lemon over it; then squeeze the lemon juice on top. Add 1 1/2 T more olive oil, pine nuts, Parmesan cheese, and basil. Eat your veggies, kids!

Words on Wednesday

Heighth is not a word.

That was going to be the basis of today's WoW lesson and I was prepared to rant on and on about how it absolutely drives me crazy to hear people say, "the heighth of the building" when they should be saying, "the height of the building". However, in my compulsive need to research everything, lo and behold, guess what I found out? You guessed it - I was wr...wrrr...wrrrrr...wrong.  

Heighth is a colloquial variant of height, even though no dictionaries list it as a living word. According to my source, its use is a common peeve among people who consider themselves careful users of English the Grammar Police. Ya think? I have to tell you, it grates on my last nerve, especially when I hear newscasters and sports commentators using it. But then I found this... 

• From JD Salinger's Catcher in the Rye: "I can usually get them on account of my heighth." 
• From Charles Dickens' Great Expectations: “Pip, I wish you ever well and ever prospering to a greater and a greater heighth.” 
• From John Milton's Paradise Lost: "This essence to incarnate and imbrute that to the highth of Deity aspired." 

Seriously?! Okay, so they get a pass because they're old and it really was a word up until about the 19th century. However, we are now in the 21st century and it's time to evolve! If I hear heighth, I'd better hear thou and doth right along with it; ya know, just so there's no mixed-century-colloquialism going on. As for me, I'm going to stand by my crazy and cringe, but I'll change my proclamation:

Heighth is not a word you should use as standard English.

The DMB Cult

Remember how I was a Deadhead for Andre Agassi? Well, The Husband is like that with the Dave Matthews Band. So we go to a lot of DMB concerts. A lot. Sometimes several nights in a row. Yeahhhh, I don't get the multiple-night thing. It's a bit much for me, so he goes with other cult members sometimes. He thinks that someday he's going to convince me into camping at this place called the Gorge Amphitheatre somewhere near the Columbia River in Washington out in the middle of nowhere for a multi-night thing. I think it's sweet that he has such faith in something that WILL. NEVER. HAPPEN.

This was a cult weekend so The Husband went to the concert in San Diego Friday night and then we went to Irvine together with our DMB-virgin friend on Saturday. Then, just because occasionally I am a good wife, we had a DMB night at home. That's actually my favorite because we spread out the DMB blanket on the living room floor, wear DMB t-shirts, have a picnic basket dinner with snacks and wine, and then watch hours of DMB videos. Now, I say this is my favorite even though I hate watching music videos, but Dave is sexy so I suffer through it. Plus, I'm in my living room. With wine. Here's a little taste of the cult leader...you be the judge:

Karma May Be A B****, But Football Karma Is Much Worse

Remember this? I should know better! Shame, shame on me. See, my whole football mantra is to cheer on SEC teams first, Florida teams next, and most importantly, cheer FOR someone, not AGAINST someone else. I've always found the Gator Haters to be so silly and they're usually people who have never even attended the college they rabidly cheer on, which seems kinda weird to me. We are a proud nation, though, and that probably annoys people. It's true, we Gators love any and all things UF, win or lose. We weren't that great back in my day (the late 70s/early 80s), but we were still loud and proud, sticking together in all kinds of weather. But I digress. The bottom line is, I broke the rules and cheered against an SEC team just out of pettiness, and now look - the Gators lost to an unranked Miami team. Are you kidding me?!
The only bright side is that it wasn't an SEC team, so if we can use the bye week to shape up, I have no doubt that we'll be on our way to a winning season and maybe near the top of the SEC. And if not, hey - been there, done that. It's still GREAT...TO BE...A FLORIDA GATOR!

Foodie Friday: Bacon Explosion

This pretty much sums up how I feel about today's recipe...

 

...and I'm not even ashamed to admit that I am one-with-dogs in regard to bacon. I actually posted a link to this recipe many moons ago, when I first discovered it at (I think) Computer Colonics when she discovered it from BBQ Addicts. Regardless of its origins, I'll happily repeat myself in claiming that this creation transcends all bacon love. Here goes...

Bacon Explosion

2 pounds thick cut bacon
2 pounds Italian sausage
1 jar of barbeque sauce
1 jar of barbeque seasoning

First, create a 5×5 bacon weave. Make sure the bacon weave is tight and square, and then add some barbecue seasoning on top. Next, take two pounds of Italian sausage and layer it directly on top of the weave. Be sure to press the sausage to the outer edges of the bacon creating a patty that is the same thickness all the way across. Fry the remaining bacon slices, crumble or chop into bite size pieces, and place on top of the sausage layer. Drizzle barbeque sauce all over the top of the bacon pieces and then sprinkle with more barbeque seasoning.

Here's the hard part: Very carefully separate the front edge of the sausage layer from the bacon weave and begin rolling backwards. Roll all layers EXCEPT the bacon weave and keep the sausage as tight as possible. Once the sausage is fully rolled up, pinch together the seams and ends to seal in all of the bacon deliciousness. It should look like this:

Kinda hard, but a little easier: Roll the sausage forward, completely wrapping it in the bacon weave. Make sure the seam is on the bottom so everything stays sealed inside. Now it should look like this:

Sprinkle more barbeque seasoning on the outside and then put it in the smoker. I have no idea what a smoker is, so you're on your own here. Cook at 225 degrees in a constant cloud of hickory smoke until it gets to an internal temp of 165 degrees. Supposedly this will take 1 hour for each inch of thickness, but it depends on that smoker thingee and the fire and how often you peek. Again, no clue. Just use a meat thermometer and you'll be fine, I'm sure (says the person who doesn't cook). After it's fully cooked, add more barbeque sauce for a glaze by using a basting brush to coat the entire surface. Slice and serve!

Since I "borrowed" this recipe from BBQ Addicts, of course I'm going to plug their sauces and seasonings. Oh, and btw, you can buy one fully cooked, so you just have to heat 'n eat (my favorite kind of food), plus they have different versions with jalapeños and cheese. Now my big question is, do I pre-call 911 or skip the wait and just eat it in the ER waiting room?

Words on Wednesday

I have no lesson plan for today's WoW edition, but I do have a funny to share. Apparently I have a Grammar Po-Po rep, so people tend to share these things with me. Not sure if that's a good thing, but it makes me smile.

Who, me?!

10-S NE1?

Yesterday I was flipping channels (looking for football, of course) and stopped on the U.S. Open Capriati/Henin-Hardenne match. Yes, as in Jennifer, the 14-year old tennis phenom of the early 90s. My immediate reaction was.....Ummm, Capriati is still playing tennis? Isn't she almost 40 or something (which is 80 in tennis years)? She still looks like she's 20-something. Didn't she retire? And she's ranked #6? Have I been out of the tennis loop for that long? I'm so confused! But alas, I hadn't entered a time-machine; it was just a rain-delay filler. Darn! However, it must've rained all day because I ended up watching lots of my old pals. 

See, I used to be a tennis groupie, kinda like a Deadhead. I would travel around to different cities to watch my tennis boyfriend, Andre Agassi, and some of my other secondary boyfriends, Stefan Edberg, Aaron Krickstein, and so many others. I have thousands of tennis-related pictures and hundreds of hours of Andre's matches on VHS tapes. My students used to give me Andre posters and calendars for Christmas presents and one year they even started a "We hate Brooke Shields" fan club. Ya know, since he married her instead of me. I was very happy when he married Steffi, though, because she was my tennis girlfriend. I may have some stalker issues. Not sure, but maybe.

Merry Football Season!

The first weekend of college football season is basically like Christmas for me. Of course the Gators won, because we always play St. Mary's Nun's College for our opening game. It gives us the warm fuzzy rah-rah we need before embarking on our #1 SOS season each year. (BTW, Alabama is #40 and FSU is #64. Wimps.) In other football news, Johnny Football kinda bugs me. I haven't totally decided because I remember that I was very well-behaved when I was his age. So well-behaved, or the exact opposite, that I thank God every day that social media hadn't been invented to document my every move back then; on the other hand, I wasn't getting a free ride to college. And then the biggest football news of the week.....Clemson over Georgia. Let me start by saying that I've held a grudge against Georgia since the Herschel Walker days. I know it's bad karma and I could single-handedly cause them to beat us this year just by saying this, but I'm so glad Georgia lost! Shame on me, I know.

Lifetime Motivation

Sometimes inspiration comes from the weirdest places. In this case, I was watching Julie & Julia on Lifetime and was inspired to write. Long-story-short, it's about this wanna-be writer who never finishes anything she starts (sound familiar?) and then decides to cook 524 recipes in 365 days and blog about it every day. And I thought, hey - I wonder if I could write about something (anything?) for 365 days? What, you thought I was going to cook?

So instead of boring you with a long diatribe about how I've hit rock bottom in my life and now I'm going to turn it around, I'm just going to dive right in. I'm not sure what I'm going to write about, but I need a goal and structure and accountability and...and...and... Like I said, I've hit rock bottom, so I pretty much need a lot of something. As I sit here on the couch watching my third Lifetime movie of the day.

Forewarning: I won't be entertaining every day, maybe just some days. Admittedly, I'm going for quantity over quality for now. Baby steps, right?