Baby, It's Cold Outside

As I was whining about the frigid winter here in California, my friend from one of the Dakotas mentioned that they had 8 inches of snow Sunday night. Now I feel like an ingrate. Of course that won’t stop me from complaining about the weather because I’m convinced I have that Seasonal Affective Disorder thing. I read it on WebMD so that practically makes me a doctor. Plus, I just love to obsess about weather, which practically makes me a grouchy old man from Boca Raton.

In addition to hating all things cold, I have a very limited snow background. The first time I ever saw it I was confused because it came wafting down as little floaty things and I thought snow came down in balls like on the cartoons. Seriously – I had no idea. I’m embarrassed to say I was in my 30s when I made this discovery. A few years later I saw it on the ground for the first time and it was so beautiful that I promptly went running through the snow mounds in my jeans and sneakers. About 2.5 seconds later I couldn’t figure out why I was soaking wet and freezing cold. Snow…ice…water.....ohhhhh, now I get it.

So I decided it was time to conquer my snow-ignorance and went to Lake Tahoe back in February for a long weekend. I even broke down and bought waterproof clothes this time. However, within minutes of arriving I stuck my hand in the snow without gloves to make a snowball. Ya know that feeling when you’re at a picnic and reach for a canned drink in a giant garbage can or tub filled with ice? And I didn’t even get a nice cold beer for my pain – only the “I told you so” background music. My next discovery was that I couldn’t walk. I would either sink in and tip over, or slide on ice patches and end up on my butt and then slide some more. I should’ve been getting paid as the live entertainment because I had quite an audience by the end of the day. However, my greatest discovery was that making a snowman is hard work! And, it’s not like corncob pipes and button noses are plentiful, so none of mine looked like Frosty.

For my Dakota friend (who’s actually looking forward to going to Denver next week because it’s supposed to be “warmer”), I just want you to know I re-experienced my snow adventure so I could feel your pain. And I promise not to complain about California weather for at least another 8 months.

Discovery #1 - Gloves are good

Discovery #2 - Can't walk

Snowman #1

Snowman #2

Snowman #3 (Notice how they're getting smaller and smaller)