Tuesday, November 14, 2017

The More You Know

Today as I was sitting in traffic (which is basically the preface for every conversation I have), I was pondering the fact that I don't know how to do a lot of things. I'm not talking things like cooking, because, well, that ship has sailed. I'm not even talking about hard things, like car maintenance or flying an airplane or speaking German. I'm talking about seemingly normal things that most people can do. The reason this existential crisis popped into my head out of the blue is because, once again, I realized that I don't know how to save my radio stations in the car and it is just so aggravating. I have never known how - no matter how many times I've looked it up on however many cars I've owned, it's one of those things that just doesn't stick. So that got me to thinking about others.

Another common thing I've never mastered is lacing sneakers. Whenever I put in new laces, I have to keep one shoe laced so I can copy it on the other shoe and then switch. If I have 2 blank shoes, nope. Another one that causes me great angst, given my English teacher background, is that I can't spell the words "occurring" or "occasionally" without looking them up. Every. Single. Time. If I don't have access to a dictionary, I will use another word. Also, when I pronounce the word "gesture" in my head, I say it with a hard G, so when I say it out loud, I really have to concentrate to say it correctly with the soft G.

Then I started to think about the things I used to know that have been dumbed-down out of me. For example, I used to know how to change a tire, but then I discovered AAA, which meant no more broken nails for this girl. Now I can't even put air in a tire, it's been that long. I also used to know how to read a city map, but then came along portable GPS. These days, I couldn't tell you how to get from my home to my office and back if I didn't have the navigator on. If I'm in a strange city with no signal or a dead battery, uh oh, cue instant hysteria.

So, I guess my burning question of the day is, does everyone have these seemingly-normal-but-personally-unattainable things? Is it normal? Am I normal? What is the meaning of life? Oh wait...got a little bit carried away for a minute there.

No comments: