The day I moved to la-la-land, my friends/family starting contributing to my bail money fund. Similar to a college fund, but way more practical. You see, I spend an inordinate amount of time in the fantasyland that is my head, which causes me to have stalker-like tendencies. Specifically, celebrity stalker tendencies. And they have these pesky laws against that. So, while I have no plans to make an appearance in Nick Cage's house wearing his jacket, I can't promise that I haven't thought about it. And because my friends know me so well, they closely monitor the red carpet event clips on TV to see if I'm there and sporting a new pair of stainless steel bracelets.
Despite having to obey the laws, I have had some exceptional encounters in the past few years (Matthew McConaughey). I've also stretched the definition of "celebrity" on occasion (Bristol Palin). All in all, my portfolio is growing nicely and I've avoided jail time. Bonus for everyone involved.
And just in case you have the urge to burst my bubble like my 12yo niece did when I said, "I saw Jay Leno the other day" and she said, "I've never heard of him", here's the IMDB link to look them up. By the way, if you feel the urge to participate in my official Celebrity Stalker Sweepstakes, thereby necessitating the need for your own bail money fund, feel free. We can have neighborhood block parties in fantasyland. Or jail.