Sunday, January 2, 2011

I Blame Mark Zuckerberg

As those of you who know me know, nothing is EVER my fault. I have perfected the blame game to levels that would make any teenager green with envy. Some blame is perfectly legitimate, while other times it's more of an excuse justification for something I shoulda/woulda/coulda done, while other times it's a flat-out stretch of the imagination. For example:
  • Legitimate: Freeway traffic = blame too many idiot drivers.
  • Justification: I'm late = blame freeway traffic. (Okay, maybe I should've left earlier.)
  • Stretch: Didn't leave earlier = blame The Husband who secretly hid my keys. (In the bottom of my purse. Or in my jacket pocket. Or underneath my pile of clutter on my desk.)
You see how the blame game trickles down? So, blaming Mr. Zuckerberg for the demise of my ability to write more than 420 characters at a time makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

Sometimes it's Just. So. Hard. (insert drama queen-esque whine and cap it off with a huge sigh while flopping to the floor) to do the different drummer march thing, so I give up. Good-bye multi-paragraph essays accompanied by an introduction, conclusion, thesis statement, research, photos, and most importantly, a point. I must join the jumbled-random-thoughts bandwagon, lest I give up writing completely. Somewhere in a file cabinet my English degree is weeping.

Weather update: For those of you who saw the CA brochure weather at the Rose Parade/Bowl yesterday, let me be the first to remind you that we are Hollywood, after all, and special effects are our thing. Today it's been pouring, freezing, and -- oh, what's that news just in? -- S-N-O-W-I-N-G in Valencia.

Football update: Gators won...Broncos lost...I love Tim Tebow. That's about the extent of my football thoughts for the weekend, as well as the entire 2010 season. Oh, and the burning question of the year...Mr. Pouncey, seriously, how hard is it to hike a football?

Farewell to the urban legend that was Urban, which makes me too sad to talk about. But, welcome Coach MusCHAMP and a new era. And now the long sports drought begins...only 244 days until football season.

Tim Tebow update: His latest Jockey ad makes me tingle all over. So much so that I had to download it as my wallpaper. If I have my way, it will end up as real wallpaper in my office. 

Click to enlarge. Trust me, you'll want to.
New Year's Resolutions update: Wash, rinse, repeat. Mark Twain said it best..."Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."

However, check out what I did today (this may or may not actually be me in the picture)...

Wait - let me rephrase...this is the class I attended where everyone else did this and I spent most of my time falling over and untangling myself from this evil machine. I have a month to go because I bought a special deal in a moment of "I'm going to get in shape" weakness, which means 29 more days to learn left from right, figure out how to move two limbs at once, and balance on things that move while counting/squeezing/stretching/breathing and trying not to kill all the skinny bitches in the room.

Things that make me laugh update: Signs from The Rally To Restore Sanity and/or Fear. (Don't worry - I'll be posting more of these soon. There are just too many good ones that can't be ignored.)

Stay tuned for my next mashup of profundities.

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